Family Memories: A Military Father's Legacy of Love & Community

According to those who knew my father, Alfonso Apdal Amos was a kind, simple, humble and unassuming man. In between the time he served in the Philippine Army in the 1970s to joining the US Navy in the 1980s, he faced many hardships including dropping out of school and food insecurities. One would assume that someone with my father’s struggles would make him a cold, hard-to-deal-with person. But not my father. He worked hard, cared deeply, and never complained.

My father served in the US Navy as a Machinist Mate 1st Class (MM1). He first enlisted on July 1st, 1980 and started recruit training in San Diego, CA. In the early 1980s, he attended Air Conditioning and Refrigeration School, which, from my understanding, meant learning technical and mechanical services regarding heating, cooling, and related systems for navy ships. In reconnecting with one of his shipmates, he described how difficult my father’s work was, often working at the bottom of the ship.

When I was born in 1987, my father was entering the second half of his military career. I recall us moving to different duty stations every 2-3 years, often from California to Japan. Throughout my father’s 18.5 years in the Navy, he served on the USS Midway, USS Enterprise, Commander Fleet Activities Yokohama, USS Cape Cod, Recruit Training Command San Diego, USS Independence, and the USS Kitty Hawk. He also was involved with the Gulf War in the early 1990s.

Despite the countless deployments, I never felt my father’s absence, only his presence. When he was home, he was very relaxed, attentive, and affectionate to our family. It was second nature for him to always make me feel special. He’d often carry me in his arms, lend me money when my mother wouldn’t, and sing lullabies as he’d bounce me on his ankles like a seesaw. I could never do wrong by my father, and even if there was any trouble, he’d often deflect to my older brother to take responsibility. I recall how normal it felt to always attend family parties, join him on his fishing trips, and simply be in community with loved ones.

Everything changed on October 17, 1998. My father’s last ship was the USS Kitty Hawk. They were traveling from Japan to South Korea when he had gone missing. They sent a search crew out for three days in the Pacific Ocean, and they continued the investigation for three months to no success.

Read More —> https://scalar.usc.edu/works/fpahm-timeline-project/family-memories-military-fathers-legacy